Challenges at home
All families are unique, since the family members form their own ways of being and doing things among themselves.
Sometimes, these ways of doing things may be difficult to understand, since family dynamics are influenced by various aspects. Some of them may be based on the family members’ personalities, while others may be things caused by something outside the family, such as changing situations in life. It is completely normal that things related to family may feel challenging, even problematic, at times.
We usually put up with a lot from our family members, even more than from anyone else.
However, the number of arguments alone does not signify that things are bad. It is also extremely important that we get to be and express ourselves at home. Having the most arguments with your parents may be because you are very close.
Sometimes, a safe and constructive argument may be the only way of resolving matters. In constructive arguing, people take each others’ feelings into account and argue over the topic at hand, instead of accusing or insulting others. Constructive arguing always includes making up, through which the participants can leave the argument behind them and move on with life in good spirits.
However, arguing may also be unconstructive, and it may be hard to see a solution for the situation due to the feelings and challenges involved. In such cases, it is key that you think about potential solutions that you feel are suitable for you.
What if arguments keep repeating?
Although topics related to family are rarely black-and-white, there may be situations in life where professional advice and help are the only option to resolve the arguments or other issues. Often, the issues are connected to problems or differences of perspective between the family members. In such situations, it is typical that the participants’ views are so different that it is very difficult for them to understand each other or even get along.
In issues between family members, it is quite common that different people need different kinds of help and support. It is also common that some want to seek help earlier than others. When thinking about if you are able to manage, it is important to remember that everyone is the best expert on their own life.
So, please remember that, even in complex situations, you can always help at least one person: yourself.
At first, seeking help may feel like a difficult or even unpleasant idea. In this case, it is important to see that seeking help does not mean abandoning or turning your back on your loved ones. You are supposed to take care of yourself and your well-being – this is proof of good self-esteem.
It is also better to know your own boundaries so that you can also remind others of them. It is often typical that people undergoing especially difficult times do not quite understand how much time and energy the people around them spend on thinking about and taking care of things related to them.
Difficult situations where professional help may be useful:
- parents’ separation
- your parents not accepting your friend or partner
- What if I get kicked out? Or what if it’s not safe to go home?
It is a sad fact that not all young people have a safe and positive relationship with their parents. Living under the same roof may be difficult for various reasons, and some young people are forced to move out as soon as they turn 18 – whether they themselves want it or not.